Getting married in church, or arranging a service of blessing - Priodi
Choosing to get married is probably the biggest choice you will ever make. Asking for God’s support is therefore a good idea!
You do not have to be a member of the church to get married in church, but you do need to believe in God and to want to ask Him to be with you in your new life together. In addition to the promise to be faithful to one another for the rest of your lives, a church wedding asks you to promise to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death us do part.
The service will also include music, passages from the Bible and – above all – prayers for you in your new family. The service can be conducted in English or in Welsh, or bilingually. A sample service is shown below - but this is only a starting point for discussion. We will want to make the service personal to you.
There are a number of legal requirements about getting married, and these need to be sorted out first with the Registrar of Marriages in Pontypridd (Tel. 01443 486869). The minister will then arrange to meet with you both, and will arrange a couple of preparation sessions for you attend. If you have been married before, or if you have children from a previous relationship (even if you were not married), the minister will want to be sure that everything has been sorted out, practically and emotionally, and that your children are happy with the new arrangements. This is a very personal thing to discuss with someone else, but we are sure you will agree that it is worth getting it right.
On the day, our minister will conduct the ceremony. Your marriage will be registered in our church register by the Authorised Person appointed by the Superintendent Registrar from amongst the membership of the church.
If you are already married, or if you intend to get married at a civil ceremony, you can still ask for a Service of Blessing either on the day of your wedding or later. The minister will be happy to discuss with you what this might involve, and will help you to put the service together. Again, the service may be in English or Welsh or bilingual.
ORDER OF SERVICE
This service is based on material in Worship: from the United Reformed Church © United Reformed Church, 2004 and prayers written by John Henson.
1. Welcome and Introduction
Welcome to Porth United Reformed Church,
for the celebration of the marriage between AB and CD.
Grace to you and peace from God our Father
and the Lord Jesus Christ.
This is the day that the Lord has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Psalm 118:24
or
Love is strong as death, passion fierce as the grave…
Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.
Song of Songs 8:6b-7a
or
God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God,
and God abides in them.
1 John 4:16b
or
I give you a new commandment, that you love one another.
Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another.
John 13:34
2. Hymn or Song
3. Statement of Purpose
We have come together in the presence of God to witness the wedding of AB and CD, to rejoice with them and to surround them with our prayers.
They have discovered a love for each other which has depth and worth and beauty, and today in God's presence, and surrounded by us who are dear to them, they come to make a lifelong commitment to that love they know for each other. When two people share a special love, which is rooted firmly in trust and respect, God gives them the opportunity to grow and find fulfilment together and personally in married life.
Today we have gathered to support A and C's love for each other with our love for them both – and to celebrate and share in their happiness, as they come to accept each other freely, to give their consent to one another in solemn promises, and to ask for God's blessing.
4. Prayer
Loving God, today we celebrate your greatest gift,
your gift of love.
It is the gift of yourself, for you are love.
You gave yourself to us in Jesus,
and you give yourself to us whenever people live in love.
Your love is miracle:
It turns selfish beings into those who care more for someone else than for themselves;
it turns those who use others for their own ends
into those who seek only another's good;
it turns those who are fickle and unreliable
into those who aim to be loyal and steadfast;
it turns the cold-hearted
into the warm, affectionate and generous.
Let your love be real in us today;
let it be the foundation of everything we are;
let it hold firm, come what may.
Help us, God, to love you in response to your love for us.
In the name of Jesus. Amen.
5. Readings from Scripture
Some suggested readings:
Old Testament (Hebrew Scriptures):
Genesis 1:26-28, 31a, Psalm 23, Song of Songs 7:10-13
New Testament:
Matthew 5:1-9, Mark 10:6-9, John 2:1-11,
1 Corinthians 13: 1-8a,13, Ephesians 3:14-21, 1 John 4:7-19
6. Sermon
The readings and the sermon may come later in the service,
after the marriage ceremony.
7. Declarations
The minister says to the couple:
Before God and before this congregation,
I will ask you to declare your freedom and readiness
to enter into the covenant of marriage.
I will also ask your families and this congregation
to affirm their willingness to support you today
and in the years to come.
I ask the congregation:
if you know of any reason in law
why AB and CD may not be joined in marriage,
please declare it now.
To the couple:
I ask you, A and C, to declare that you know of no reason in law that you may not be married.
As required by law each one declares in the presence of the Authorized Person, or the Registrar, and two witnesses:
I declare that I know of no legal reason
why I, AB,
may not be joined in marriage to CD. *
I declare that I know of no legal reason
why I, CD,
may not be joined in marriage to AB. *
8. Prayer for Assurance and Sincerity
O God of all faithfulness, as they make their promises,
may A and C know that their love
is both your will and your delight.
May the promises they make govern the life they will lead.
May your presence surround them,
your faithfulness encourage them,
your Spirit strengthen and guide them.
Amen.
9. The Promises
The man is asked:
AB will you take CD
to be your wife in Christian marriage?
Will you love, comfort, honour and protect her,
in times of prosperity and health
and in times of trouble and suffering?
And will you be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?
I will.
The woman is asked:
CD will you take AB
to be your husband in Christian marriage?
Will you love, comfort, honour and protect him,
in times of prosperity and health
and in times of trouble and suffering?
And will you be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?
I will.
If either, or both, has children:
Will you promise to be faithful, loving and caring parents to N (and N)?
We will.
The congregation is asked:
Will you, the family and friends of A and C,
support and encourage them in their marriage?
We will.
10. The Vows
The couple turn to face each other and join right hands.
In the presence of the Authorized Person, or the Registrar, and two witnesses they exchange vows in this form or one of the alternative forms:
I, AB, do take you, CD,
to be my wedded wife:*
in accordance with God's holy will,
to have and to hold
from this day forward,
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish
till death us do part.
This is my solemn vow.
I, CD, do take you, AB,
to be my wedded husband:*
in accordance with God's holy will,
to have and to hold
from this day forward,
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish
till death us do part.
This is my solemn vow.
11. The Giving and Receiving of Rings
The rings are given to the minister who prays:
Eternal God, whose love encircles us all,
bless the giving and receiving of these rings.
May they be signs of a love which never ends,
beautiful, holy and strong.
May they be tokens of commitment and faithfulness
and reminders of the promises and vows made today.
In the name of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.
Each says in turn:
I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage.
With my body I honour you,
all that I am I give to you,
all that I have I share with you,
within the holy love of God.
or
I give you this ring in God's name
as a sign of all that we have promised
and all that we shall share.
The couple may exchange other appropriate symbols and gifts.
12. The Marriage Blessing
The LORD bless you and keep you;
the LORD make his face to shine upon you,
and be gracious to you;
the LORD lift up his countenance upon you,
and give you peace.
Numbers 6:24-26
13. The Declaration of Marriage
A and C have declared before God and before you
that they will live together in Christian marriage.
They have made promises to one another,
have exchanged solemn vows
and have symbolised their marriage today
by joining hands and by the giving and receiving of rings.
I therefore declare them to be husband and wife,
in the name of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Those whom God has joined together, let no one separate.
14. Greeting
The couple may kiss. The congregation may applaud.
15. Prayers
Most gracious God, source of all true love,
we give you thanks that A and C have given themselves today to one another in the covenant of marriage.
Pour out the fullness of your blessing on them.
Lead them into that love which never comes to an end.
When words or actions hurt, give them grace to forgive.
Through times of darkness and distress,
give them strength to persevere and to support each other
May they be thankful for all that has brought them to this day.
May they joyfully embrace this new beginning,
and journey on with ever new delight.
Bless their families and friends,
that they may be a constant source of strength.
Bless their home, that it may be a place of welcome.
(Bless them in the gift of children,
that they may be wise and loving parents).
Bless us, who today have witnessed the sharing of words and signs of love,
that we may find our faith renewed and our hope restored.
May love, the greatest of all your gifts,
stronger than death, gentle as a touch,
bring us through every passing moment
closer to Jesus Christ, our lover and our Lord.
On this day so full of joy and promise,
we bring the sorrows and struggles which are always with us,
and we pray for those who are lonely or feel unloved today,
in the confidence that you will hear us in the name of Christ,
and in the power of the Holy Spirit, Amen.
16. Hymn or Song
17. Blessing
May the God who created us out of love,
whose Son loved us even unto death,
and whose Spirit warms us with holy friendship,
bless and keep us, now and forever, Amen.
or
May the God who made us for one another,
who loves us with a faithful love
and whose spirit makes us passionate and strong,
bless you and embrace you, now and for ever, Amen.
18. The Signing of the Registers
The registers are signed in the presence of witnesses.